#and trying to put my thoughts into words

[unlimited-nobu-works]

my group chats on private MMO servers

[dreamsy990]

drew some of my fav ody designs! wasnt originally meant to be also replicating the styles but thats sort of just how my brain works. except i didnt copy the lineart styles of anyone here so its DEFINITELY a bit uncanny for a couple of these (LOOKING AT YOU QINNY IM SO SORRY) but whatever

the designs featured here (from left to right) belong to: me, @gigizetz, @neal-illustrator, @irunaki, @bigidiotenergytm, @qinnyanimation, and @foopsie-daisy

[evercelle]

2024 art summary! it sure has been a year

[melina-mellow]

Can't really place timebomb into "who fell first, who fell harder" debate cause in my eyes Ekko both "fell first" and "fell harder" at different points in the story and his relationship with Jinx.

[ulteri0rm0tives]

I still think about my mutuals tag where he said that he thinks Johnny feels so much and so deeply that it literally drove him crazy. And yeah. Just think about it constantly. It's. The statement I associate with him. The first thing I think of when I think of him.

I really, really, really dislike when people paint Johnny as this totally unfeeling asshole. Or at least, I heavily disagree with it. That's not to say he isn't an asshole, he 100% is. He's a jerk to the people around him, and of course there really is no excuse for how he treats people. But explanations =/= excuses.

I feel when people try to paint him that way, it comes from a place that lacks understanding or even an unwillingness to understand. This goes hand in hand where I'll see these people call him an unfeeling asshole while using terms associated with cluster b disorders and using the social weight they carry to demonize him, a very prevalent problem reflected in society and internet pop psychology culture.

They'll take the fact he's a 'narcissistic junkie', and not only at the same time use it to demonize people with NPD, but also drug users. It's just a very lazy way to paint a picture of his characterization, by using loaded terms as a crutch and letting their social weight, using yours and others people's biases, do the job for you. Like man, if you're going to make a critique of his character can we at least actually put some effort behind it.

Like. They think he's a user who's an unfeeling asshole to people just for the sake of being one. They see him engaging in these self endangering, self harming, self sabotaging behaviors and brush it off as nothing more than him being like that simply because he likes it, that he relishes in it even. Simply because he wants and chooses to be like that.

They don't see him using as a way of numbing himself (this especially with the fact drugs are the first thing he goes for when Alt breaks it off with him). They don't see that constant toxic push and pull in his relationships as self sabotage. They don't see the fact him going on that OP was a suicide mission. Literally.

I truly believe he never intended to come back from that mission, evident in his last exchange with Kerry, evident in a LOT of his own lyrics. (Black Dog, Ballad of Buck Ravers.)

Johnny clearly is passionate. He clearly has things he cares about. He clearly feels.

I'd even go so far as to say he genuinely does care about the people in his life, he just simply doesn't know how to show it properly or in a way that's healthy for anyone involved. Even when Alt breaks up with him, and he pushes her away for it, he still ends up chasing after her before she's even left the venue. He still tries to protect her. When Alt gets abducted, and yeah, he's being a leadheaded stubborn idiot about it, he still goes after her.

And even if it's self aggrandizing in a lot of ways, he still cares about her life enough to raid a whole fucking tower for her. Even if it's more in the view of what Arasaka took from him, than what it did to her, he still cares about her in his own way. He still grieves her. He's still broken up when she dies right in front of him, and he still acts out even if it's violent and angry. His grief has ALWAYS manifested this way.

When he sees the headlines about Kerry, he asks V to check up on him, to visit him. He even asks Kerry about it because (I think) it came from a place of genuine worry shown the best way he can show it, a straightforward question and dropping it when he gets an answer, no matter how truthful the answer is. When Kerry gets the idea for a one time reunion, Johnny agrees to it because he thinks 'Kerry needs this'.

I also think people see that he's a very angry person and attribute 'unfeeling' to that. Because to them, to a lot of people, anger isn't a valid emotion nor one with as much value as happiness or sadness. That's it's something less than. Even if anger was all he felt, it's still a feeling. He still feels it. He still feels.

His anger, though it's execution is obviously a problem, it's extremely fucking justified and valid. It's born from the mistreatment of a system that only destroys people's lives. Born from a system that only knows how to take, how to hurt, how to kill.

The same system that took, not just a literal piece of Johnny, but so many pieces of his identity and his life that he literally tries to project himself as an entirely new person to escape this.

Johnny cares about how the system treats people, especially people like him. How it uses people and chews them up and discards them when it's taken all it can from them. Johnny cares so much he becomes not just a voice, but thinks he is- and in a lot of ways he does really become one- a symbol for people like him.

That OP functioned as another rescue mission for Alt, another statement for his ideals, and his blaze of glory to go out on his own terms.

Johnny cares about things. Johnny cares about people. He has feelings. Complicated, convoluted, deeply traumatized feelings. Feelings that are so intense, that it harms him. Feelings that are so intense, that it bleeds from him and harms others, too.

And honestly, I'd say the one and only person he stopped truly caring about was himself. A long, long time ago.

[wire-bunch]

i think there should be more robots that arent good at programming and dont know a lot about related subjects honestly. i mean humans dont have an in depth understanding of biology and anatomy just because theyre human, sure they know what kind of stuff is supposed to be inside of them but not very specific biological processes, names of proteins and all that stuff - so why should a robot know what each little part of it does? if its purpose isnt to be a self-repairing mechanic, whats the point of knowing where all the individual little wires connect to and what each of them is responsible for? let robots be a bit dumber is what im saying

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

thinking about how mulder loves to get scully a gift, usually terribly heartfelt, even if disguised as something flippant:

the superbowl vhs tape he brings her when she wakes up from her coma in one breath (and her deadpan "i knew there was a reason to live")

tickets for a football game to watch together in irresistible

bringing her flowers to the hospital in memento mori (he lies, saying he stole them from a guy with broken legs to make her laugh)

the birthday keychain in tempus fugit (and when she finds a meaning to it, he claims "i just thought it was a pretty cool keychain")

that is a man who is always thinking about her.

[phantombegruvia]

Genuinely what the FUCK was that.

(I loved every second)

[phytsera]

there’s a lot of beauty in doing the unpleasant parts of something so someone you love can just experience the best of it.

[changecomesforyou]

what i've always found so interesting about the ending to black sails is that it forces you to consider if it would even be possible for anyone, let alone someone like Flint, to return to a previous version of himself. After all he's had to endure and fight for, after copious trauma and loss, can Flint ever become James McGraw again? And what would the that even look like?

Sure maybe Flint can be Odysseus returning home, carrying an oar until it is mistaken for a shovel... but the man carrying the oar will always know it was an oar.

It's also interesting that through Silver's telling of Flint's end, we see no consideration for what Flint himself would have wanted, or how he felt. I can believe that he would want to see Thomas. I can believe he would go to see him, I can believe the embrace we are shown between Flint& Hamilton. But it becomes trickier trying to imagine Flint submitting to the empire, purely to be with Thomas. To imagine that Flint would stay there with Thomas, that he would find peace in confinement purely because someone he loves is there too. Surely to a man like Flint, who fought his way up the ranks in the Navy, who waged war against England... the idea of being one of society's monsters hidden and locked away would be unbearable. It would go against everything he had said for the last four seasons. But then, Flint had no hope that Thomas was alive. Would that be enough? Or would he go, only to break him & Thomas out?

And considering Silver himself, it adds another layer. Silver, undoubtedly, has been changed. He is not who he was, but we also don't know anything about him. I wonder if Silver would be terrified, to be returned to a previous state, or if that is something he himself longs for to a certain extent. In a way, Silver's tale for Flint's end is almost like a return to the desperate liar he was before, that is, if he was lying. But we as an audience are left with Schrödinger's Flint- there will never be only one answer. And I won't lie, I love that. I think there was no other way for it to end. In treasure island, Cpt Flint (the parrot) could be interpreted as either Silver's longing or regret for all that transpired. And that longing& regret in themselves could be so multifaceted depending on whether or not Silver killed Flint, or brought him to Thomas. Either way, Silver shapes Flint's destiny with his own hands. His hands- bloody, loving, desperate, calm, or maybe all the above.

[littlepikmins]

I love fics where Tim calls Bernard sunshine, not just because I love the idea of Bernard being like a ray of refreshing sunlight in Tim's life - a comforting and reliable focus point to give himself a sense of normalcy amidst everything else. But also because I like the idea that Bernard is like the sun in that he burns so bright until it inevitably causes him to fall apart.

He's warm and sunny, but he also engages in dangerous activities often without any concern for his wellbeing, as if wanting the danger. He has bad days where he stays in bed alone and ignores his phone. The next day, he acts like nothing was ever wrong and he's completely fine. He burns so bright until he can't anymore and then he crashes and looks for a way to hurt because the pain cult left him with issues.

[canisalbus]

Machete and Vasco are so pomegranate-and-the-hand-that-slices coded. To me.

Pomegranates are seen as messy, bloody, inconvenient fruits. You slice or tear or bite and in return for your effort you come away underwhelmed, disgusted, and stained too deep to wash. The consumption of a pomegranate is a violent act of defilement, for both the fruit and the eater.

But that is because most do not understand how to open a pomegranate. They have little patience for the precise carving. They see no point in coreing the fruit gently, no reason to be reverent as they pull the quarters apart. When done correctly, opening a pomegranate leaves little mess. Your fingers will still stain, your knife will still slick, but there will be no pool of crimson drowning both you and the fruit.

The seeds are only sweet to those who understand the merit of a light hand and intricate slicing. Why put in so much effort for a food so bitter and clearly armored against consumption? Surely it must not yearn to be eaten.

(^insane about silly catholic dogs)

.

[flowerakatsuka]

" just know that i'm always here for you, okay? "

i'm finally finishing up my s2 rewatch and getting to the 24th episode awoke a beast in me. so i wanted to make a fake screenshot based on some of their lore that takes place during that episode. i think they'd end up having a heart-to-heart moment since kuroba went through similar struggles after their grandfather's own hospitalization...

also have a bonus doodle bc i need to even out the balance between serious & goofy with these two.

[kacievvbbbb]

The Donovan Desmond Theory

In light of the latest chapter.

Donovan Desmond is giving serious Reginal Hargreeves vibes.

But like if I had suspicions that he was a bad dude or at least is involved in some bad things then that’s been cleared up a little bit in the most recent chapters.

I don’t know if I fully believe Desmond is an alien like Melinda thinks I think maybe he has a non human quality to him (like say something like Anya’s powers) combined with his general lack of human understanding it seems I think him being an alien is Melinda’s explanation for what is happening (or you now chances are he could be one but so far the story has remained fairly grounded and so im inclined to believe it will stay that way)

But what I think is most liek let is that he is the one behind the scientific experiments that Anya, bond and probably a whole lot of other dogs and children were subjected to that gave them powers.

Also

Look at the scars on his head. This is just a little lower than where Anya’s comes (which i think are kind of connected to her powers or atleast covering up something connected to her powers) sit. And honestly they just look like brain experimentation scars.

So initially I thought maybe he was the founder of the experimenting giving powers organization looking for a way to perfect or gain powers but now I think that maybe he was one of the first kids to be experimented on. Maybe he was the only one/ one of the only ones/ the most successful experiment, to survive the process and so they make him the poster child of the project and he grows up within it and they are essentially the shadow organization pulling the strings and orchestrating his life. That would explain why he seems to lack so much proper human socialization skills and why he appears odd enough that Melinda thinks he’s an alien.

Or maybe the original organization fell apart in the lead up to the first war and now he’s rebuilding it to try and continue the work or fix what’s wrong with him but I’m inclined to believe he just believes in the work.

All this to say that I think Desmond can read minds like Anya. I think the boys and his family might be part of some side experiment he’s running to see if these powers can be passed down through dna and so he got himself (or the organization set him up with) a family. I think thats the reason he spent a lot of time up close and personal seemingly monitoring Demetrius and his progress. Trying to see if he would develop any special abilities. But he doesn’t and that why Donovan seems to lose interest in his family.

But I think during this time Desmond teaches Demetrius (without explicitly explaining why or what they are doing) how to be impervious to having his mind read I’m guessing incase Demetrius did show promise and would be brought into the fold, and that’s why Anya can’t read him but he seems to have internalized this as simply just not having a stream of consciousness. The only time we hear his thoughts is when he’s thinking about things in the abstract and that’s probably the key to it. He focuses soley on what he is doing right then in every moment and so thereby doesn’t mule anything over enough to have an internal conversation with himself he was probably taught not to “waste time pondering”anything and just to act when it is appropriate to do so, disguised as a very strange business lesson. As he was probably being very intensely instructed on this. But Demetrius shows no signs of any developing powers so Desmond kind of just pushes him to the way side which must have been jarring to suddenly be so unimportant to your father after so many years of such intense observation

Which is why I think Demetrius harbors anger towards his father and doesn’t understand him because what were the lessons for and why did they abruptly stop and why doesn’t anything he do seem to bring them back? But he never really investigates this deeply because the act of not pondering was instilled within him deeply.

So yeah. I think Donovan Desmond can read minds I would also kind of say him saying “this was a worth while evening” after sitting in silence with his family makes me feel like he just read their minds (those of which he could read) and got what he needed to. Which also makes me believe he is still running some kind of passive experiment on them and that’s why he doesn’t want Melinda to interact with Damian so much maybe he’s going the opposite route and seeing if neglect will allow the boys to awaken their possibly latent abilities. I don’t know man I’m just tapping 🤷🏿‍♀️ Donovan Desmond just has the look of someone that’s been experimented on whole Demetrius has the look of someone who withstood all kinds of psychological torture from a young age. Take all this with a grain of salt

[epickiya722]

The more time passes, the more I came to realize that some people in this fandom really have mischaracterized Midoriya and not understand that he has many, many layers.

Flawed writing or not, I feel like there are some parts of the manga that are easy to understand what kind of person he is and yet...

It's not that people lack reading comprehension skills. I just think some people choose not to use them because Midoriya isn't a character that they care for or the canon version of him isn't the fanon version they cooked up in their head.

Like, a while back like a couple of days ago I saw someone say that Midoriya is "too forgiving" towards Bakugou and that's something I have seen before.

(I touched on this in a previous post.)

I disagree. I disagree so much.

I feel like the fandom sees that Midoriya is a "nice guy" and immediately equals that to being "too forgiving".

It does not.

Just because Midoriya isn't an asshole, or vindictive or cursing out Katsuki or anybody every ten minutes that doesn't mean he's "too forgiving".

He never gave excuses to Bakugou's behavior. In fact, when they have their first fight he straight up tells him he won't be his punching bag anymore.

For that first half of the series, despite do caring about Bakugou, Midoriya does go as far as to keeping his distance. At best, he makes comments but that don't really come off as him validating Bakugou's behavior. Watch the earlier episodes, you'll see sometimes that Midoriya expresses shock. That's because they're now surrounded by other students who aren't brushing off Bakugou's earlier behavior.

Note that though, during times like that when we do get inner dialogue from Midoriya it is very, very brief.

It's something that continues on. Despite him being our MC, Midoriya doesn't really have a lot of inner thoughts revealed. Most of the time, he narrates the story.

That would also include his feelings towards Bakugou. We actually don't know exactly when Midoriya forgave him because we don't get that thought from him. Let alone, I don't think he really expressed it verbally.

Now, I do believe he did forgive Bakugou. Just not as early as some people think.

To me, it's what sticks out and why I say he has layers.

He's an unreliable narrator in his own story. He doesn't share his thoughts with the audience a lot. A lot of what is interpreted about Midoriya within the story comes from other characters and how they interact with him.

Again, Midoriya has those layers.

We see that he is nice and kind, but he's not above it all. People (annoyingly) call him a crybaby, but Midoriya has a range of emotions that sometimes put other characters to shame. While Midoriya may not go around yelling at people, he is also an angry person.

He is indeed quick to anger and we see this plenty of times.

While he's strategic, Midoriya is also impulsive and reckless. Like, he can be a crashout.

While he's caring, he can also be cold.

While Midoriya may want to connect and understand people, he doesn't allow people to understand him because he isn't open about himself.

Midoriya is a lot of things and then some.

Just because he inhabits one trait, doesn't mean he can't inhabit its counterpart. And just because he doesn't express his inner thoughts, doesn't mean he has or hasn't had a specific thought.

Thinking about it, and I would say it's a stretch, because it's so often we do see this with Midoriya... maybe, just maybe... Horikoshi had the intentions for the audience to theorize on what Midoriya may be thinking and try to see that through his actions. To understand him without knowing what he's thinking, but observe what he is saying and doing.

Because, sometimes to know a person may be thinking, you have to try to figure it out through their behavior. That's a real life skill that Horikoshi maybe, again maybe now, wanted us as the audience to apply here.

[saintplaquerat]

i do think fandoms have like this issue of like. people want to be The Guy. if that makes sense. like when there's a new ghoul, people want to be the one to name them. in a lot of non-visual mediums, people want to be the one to have the design. and like i Get It. it feels really cool when people use your thing. i'm not the one to have named transwoman copia (i am simply an enthusiast of ex-tumblr user ratgirlcopia's works and i want to keep spreading that), but i think it's really cool people call her cici.

but like. sometimes you have to let go and accept that sometimes your thing does not catch on. my friend ran a poll bracket that had a lot of traction for what it was, and it did have a winner. and people do use that name. but there are people who don't want to use it and i get not liking the name but i do think this is the The Guy desire. because it really does feel good. but at the same time it makes tagging things a huge issue. even now, people will call phantom "aeon" or "midas" and it makes it really confusing. the original air and earth have nicknames i've only seen in the past couple months and i genuinely thought that it was oc posting because i've never seen these names. hell, i don't even really like the name dewdrop for that little fire freak, but i just make him have a nickname while still acknowledging that he's called "dewdrop" by most people.

because, like. this isn't a popularity contest. it's trying to have consistent tags.